Wednesday, December 14, 2011

All a Dream.....

It feels like that this last week has been all a dream.  It doesn’t feel real that Shane is really gone.  I am guessing that maybe that is because he isn’t really gone, but still spends a lot time with us here in the house.  The boys have expressed the same feelings to me.  It does just feel like he is on a vacation and will walk in the door anytime.  How I wish that were the case.

It has been hectic getting everything ready for his services but so good to be able to look back through all of our pictures and remember all those good times.  The boys are continually saying how much they miss him and how they wished he were still here.  Rowdy is lost without him.  The first couple of nights, he wandered around the house like he didn’t know what to do.  He spends a lot of time sleeping in Shane’s recliner chair.  Yesterday, I turned on Shane’s cell phone and many text messages came in and the noise it made alerted Rowdy and he came running into the kitchen as I am sure he relates that sound to Shane.

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Shane's Obituary

Shane Brooks Sager
1976 ~ 2011


Shane, 35, passed away December 10, 2011, at his home in Highland, Utah surrounded by his love ones. He was born on February 28, 1976, in American Fork, Utah to Mindy Barratt and Robert Brooks. He was married May 18, 2006, to Jennifer Leslie Shepherd in Lehi, Utah. He was a dedicated and loving husband, father, brother, and son.

He loved to spend time with his sons doing most anything, from playing catch, to camping, to watching his sons’ baseball and football games. He had a passion for the outdoors. He cherished the time he was able to spend with friends and family doing the things he loved, like snowmobiling, wakeboarding, hunting, backpacking, and hiking. He was a member of the LDS Church. He happily served for many years with the young men. He was extremely influential in their lives and many of the boys considered him their hero.

He had a great sense of humor and constantly made people laugh even when times were tough. He had an extraordinary love for life. He battled courageously with cancer (angiosarcoma) for almost 4 years. He was an inspiration to everyone around him. Because of his amazing attitude, many had no idea of the trial that he was enduring.

He worked at Wells Fargo as a Computer Systems Engineer for 14 years. He was a very dedicated and hard-working employee, having worked up until days before he left us.

He is survived by his wife, Jennifer Leslie Sager, his children Dylan, Dallas, & Tyler Rodabough, his mother, Mindy Sager Cook (Rick) and his brother Jace Sager. Also, Robert Brooks, a sister, Ashley Brooks. Preceded in death by his father, Ron Sager, brother Cody Brooks, and grandfather Bob Brooks.

Funeral services will be held Friday, December 16, 2011 at 11:00 am, at the Highland 26th LDS Ward Chapel, 10417 North 6750 West, Highland, Utah. Family and friends may call Thursday evening from 6:00-8:00 pm at the Warenski Funeral Home, 1776 North 900 East, American Fork, Utah and also

Monday, December 12, 2011

Funeral Services

I wanted to post the info for the viewing and funeral services.  The viewing will be Thursday, December 15th 6-8 pm at Warenski Funeral Home - 1776 North 900 East, American Fork.  The funeral will be Friday, December 16th at 11 am at 10417 North 6750 West, Highland.  There will be a viewing prior to the funeral from 10-11.

Saturday, December 10, 2011

We miss you!!

My heart hurts as I sit here thinking what to write.  I keep thinking this is all a dream and it doesn’t feel real.  But I am so terribly sad to let you know that Shane passed away last night.  He held on so that he could come home and spend time with our boys before going.  I will try and post most later but thought I should let people know. 

Friday, December 9, 2011

Back to Huntsman

We have had a crazy couple of days.  Wednesday started off being a good day.  Katie (Dr. Gouw's nurse) called us and told me that he needed to come in for a blood transfusion because his counts were very low.  We needed to come up to Huntsman on Thursday so we arranged to do it at the same time.  That evening his oxygen sat rate was dropping and we had to keep bumping up his oxygen.  It got to the point that we had turned it all the way up on our home machine and he was still below 90.  So we called home health to come help us get it figured it out.  We have portable tanks that allowed us to turn his oxygen level to 8 and so we tried that but he still wasn't able to stay above 90.  So we decided he needed to go in.  We showed up at AF ER with his oxygen in the 70's even being on our oxygen tank.  They got him all hooked up and talked to us about evaluating him and sending him up to Huntsman which is where we wanted to be anyway but needed a doctor to admit him for us.  So they did some tests and at 2:30 am off we went in an ambulance to Huntsman.  We got him situated up here and they talked to us about why his levels were low...because he needed blood.  They did a scan on Thursday morning and saw that there was more fluid built up in areas that his drain doesn't get to.  The doctors came in and talked to us and told us that they are going to give him the transfusion, but that he is losing all the blood that he is being given because of the cancer in his lungs.
They gave us a 2 options.  We can continue to get transfusions but his oxygen levels were still going to decrease and eventually would need a ventilator and would be in the ICU or he can stop the transfusions and stay here (huntsman) or go home with hospice and they can make him comfortable and that we are no longer looking at weeks or months but now days.
I have been in shock since...maybe even some denial.  He seemed to have a pretty good day with pain yesterday and was even awake for a couple of hours to talk at night.  But then last night was a nightmare.  He was in a lot of pain and it was hard to get it under control.  While "sleeping" he sometimes takes off his oxygen mask and last night he fought us to put it back on him.  He kept telling us that he was done.  I finally got him talked back into it put it back on.  Mindy and I traded off sitting with him to make sure he was ok.  Needless to say...it was a long night.
We are working on getting him transported home today and will have hospice with us.

I want to thank everyone for all the emails and texts.  I appreciate the words of love and support.  He is still asking to not have any visitors.  If/When he changes his mind, I will let people know.

Tuesday, December 6, 2011

Sleeping A Lot

Shane is doing well.  He is just sleeping a lot.  We said that once he came home from the hospital that we would have our “Biggest Loser Marathon” since we haven’t watched the last several episodes.  Neither one of us seems to get very far into the episode before we are both asleep. 

The boys have had a rough time knowing what is going on and dealing with it in their own ways.  Dallas says to me last night, “Mom, can I tell you what I want for Christmas?”  I say, “Sure.”  He says, “The only thing I want is for Shane to stay alive forever.”  It brought tears to my eyes….all I could get out was, “Me too.”

Tyler has been drawing him pictures and wanting to go in and watch TV with him even though he is asleep within a minute of Tyler going in.  Dylan is constantly asking to help with him and bring him his pills.

I know that there are a lot of people that want to come visit and I thank those for respecting his wishes right now.   He is asleep so much, so if people just show up, I am having to turn them away and I feel bad.  But he has asked that I don’t wake him up when he is sleeping.  So please know that I am not disregarding requests.  I run everything by him and ask him what is ok and I am respecting what he wants. J

Monday, December 5, 2011

Good Night

Sunday, December 4, 2011

We got home from the hospital on Saturday afternoon to a clean house and a beautiful Christmas tree with lights.  It brought tears to both Shane and I to know that we have such great friends and family who are always there for us whenever we need them.  We appreciate all that everyone has been doing to help us.  It truly means a lot to me.

Saturday night was a little rough.  Shane had a hard time with the pain.  We got it under control early this morning and he continues to sleep.  Every once in awhile he will wake up or I have to wake him up to take some pills and talks to me about some interesting things…like telling me that I was giving him mean pills, or one time he looked at me and said, did you just hear what I said and I told him no and he said that he had just ripped on me and I asked what he said and he said that he had found a volleyball last week and was talking to someone  (I am guessing one of the boys) and says that we should ask mom to come and play but she is a cheater.  I wanted to start laughing because it was pretty funny but it also made me happy because I know when he is talking like this, then he is not in any pain.
 

Monday, December 5, 2011

Last night was a pretty good night.  He had a hard time going to sleep but slept well once he did.  He has been loving having Rowdy back home.  He has someone to feed the food that he doesn’t feel like finishing.  If he falls asleep with the fork almost to his mouth,  Rowdy is right there to wake him up.  Sometimes Rowdy is the one that ends up with the food in his mouth. J

Sunday, December 4, 2011

Update on Shane

So I thought we would start updating the blog again so that people would know how Shane is doing.  I will give the readers digest version of what has been going on with Shane over the past couple of months.

He had been in a lot of pain due to some tumors on his pelvis.  So he has been battling with issues from taking pain meds.  He had started a trial chemo in September and did 2 rounds of that.  He had a scan done following the 2nd round and the tumors in his pelvis had increased in size to 11 cm each.  At that time, there was some growth in the tumors in his lungs but the doctor didn’t feel like they were concerning.  So with the growth, he was no longer on the trial.  We knew prior to this chemo that they do not have any more treatments that they know work for angiosarcoma.  So knowing this after this trial didn’t work, we asked…What next?  Dr. Gouw said that there was a chemo and another drug that they could try that might help, but that he is scraping the bottom of the barrel to find things.  We decided that radiation would be good to do to help with his pain in his pelvis, but that because they had already radiated the area, it couldn’t be as intense and might not be as beneficial.  So Shane had that done a few weeks ago and it has really helped with the pain in his pelvis. 

During these last few months, he had some bowel issues and was throwing up.  It had gotten to the point that he wasn’t eating much and if he did, then he threw it up.  We ended up going to the ER a couple of weeks ago thinking he had a bowel obstruction.  After many tests, they told us that his blood counts were low and he needed a blood transfusion and that he had fluid built about around one of his lungs.  The next morning we had to go to Huntsman for radiation so I went and talked to Dr. Gouw’s nurse Katie and told her what was going on and she said that he needed to be admitted to get blood and have the fluid drained from around his lung.  That helped relieve the pressure in his chest and he looked a lot better with having gotten the blood.

Shane and I had planned on taking the boys on a cruise over Thanksgiving week.  After everything that was going on, I was thinking that we wouldn’t be going.  After a lot of thought and talking to Shane, we decided that I would still go and take the boys.  The past year has been kind of crazy and I needed a break from reality for a bit.  Shane had started feeling better, so I thought it would be ok.  I knew his Mom would do whatever she could to help him.  So the boys and I went.  It was hard to relax as I would sit and wonder how Shane was doing.  I had communication here and there with Shane while we were gone.  One the last night of the cruise, I had a text to call Shane.  I knew something wasn’t right.  So come to find out, he had been in and out of the ER a couple of times during the week because of the fluid and his oxygen levels – in the 60’s.  So they were able to get oxygen delivered to the house.  But then things got worse on Saturday and he was admitted to Huntsman.  They put in a chest tube to start draining all the fluid around the lung.  The fluid keeps coming because of the tumors in his lung.  I got home the next day and drove straight to Huntsman.  I really hated to see him like this.  But I was told that he was doing a lot better than from the day before.  After having the radiation on his pelvis which helped with the pain, he then realized he was having a lot of pain also in his back.  So he continues to deal with that.

On Monday, they did a procedure where they went in and put a smaller drain tube in his chest that he would be able to come home with and drain as needed there.  As well as went in and sprayed talc in areas that the lung hasn’t re-attached itself to the chest wall. (His lung had collapsed in all the craziness of the days prior).  The talc is supposed to help the lung re-attach thus helping reduce/eliminate the fluid build up.  We were told he could go home on Tuesday.

Tuesday came and went…still there.  There was still a lot of drainage and they wanted to get him off IV meds before sending him home.

Wednesday came and I got up there around noon and everything seemed ok.  He had done a scan in the morning. After a little while, Shane told me that we need to talk.  The doctors had come in this morning and talked to him about what was going on.  They told him that the cancer in his lungs has spread quite a bit since his last scan.  They told him that there was no treatment left to do.  As not only had our insurance denied the chemo/drugs they wanted to try (it is not FDA approved for angiosarcoma) but that one of them could actually make things worse with what is going on his lungs.  After talking to them and then Dr. Gouw came in and talked to us and went over things.  He told us that depending on how he does with the fluid, he might have a few weeks to a couple of months-ish  left.

It took a lot of digesting because Shane and I had just met with Dr. Gouw a few weeks ago and he told us that he really didn’t have any life-threatening tumors.  Things happened so fast and the cancer is spreading so quickly.

We talked to Dr. Gouw and then Dr. Poppe (radiation doc) about doing radiation on the area in his back that is causing him the pain and they are working with the insurance company to do that.

They talked to us about hospice a little bit.  Shane and I discussed it and we want to do the radiation first and see where we are at then.  Once we start hospice, he can’t do any other treatments like radiation or any blood transfusions (which he seems to need here and there), so we want to make sure we do all we can before choosing that option.

So needless to say, the last few days have been emotionally crazy.  We have gotten his pain manageable for now and he is hooked up getting more blood right now to boost his counts before we go home and we should be able to leave in a few hours.  I will not be posting this until Sunday as we have not had a chance to talk to our boys about the seriousness of this and will be doing so on Sunday night.

Because Shane doesn’t have a lot of energy or is in some pain or is sleeping a lot…it is best not to have visitors just stop by.  He has requested no visitors for the past few days at Huntsman and may continue to do so.  So if you want to see him, please just email me and I will have to run it by him but I am guessing that he is still not up for them.  It takes a lot out of him.

Please just continue to check here to see how he is doing and I will try and keep it updated.  I don’t want to spend my days on the phone saying the same thing over and over to a lot of different people and email is my best way of communication…and I can get to it when convenient for me.  If you want to send an email to Shane, you can email him (he may check it during the week…as YES he is still trying to work.  Does this surprise anyone?  Not me J) or send it to me ( jenlsager@msn.com ) and I can get it to him.

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Updating Blog

I am actually thinking about updating the blog...since on Thursday it will have been one year since I posted. Hey but I changed our header to our most recent family picture that only took 4 1/2 years of being on my to do list before I actually did it. :)

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Sooo Funny!!

So Monday night I did a FHE lesson on having order in the home. I talked about how parents and kids have certain responsibilities. So one of the responsibilities that I talked about was that the parents need to be a good example to the kids.
So I come home from work yesterday and Shane tells me about a conversation that he had with Dylan. I can't even remember what they were doing, but Shane swore...DAMN. Dylan turns to him and tells him that he needs to be a better example to him. I thought that was the funniest thing. I just love how honest kids are. :)

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Dylan & Dallas -- Football 2009

DALLAS - #34

Dallas has been loving football this year. He is one of the receivers for the team. He made an awesome catch in one of the games...brings tears to my eyes that my boys are this old. :) Dallas has been very dedicated to football this year and never complaining about the practices or the running. He is a great kid!!











DALLAS & DYLAN

after the Juan Diego game




DYLAN - #44
Dylan has also been loving football. Although, he is the one that complains about having to run at practice. I think I would too. He has been working very hard this year. He has been playing Defensive End on starting Defense. He has been doing awesome. In the last game, he had many awesome tackles. He did such a great job that they named him Dominator of the game. So he gets to wear that jersey to practice for the next week. He came home yesterday so excited because they are putting him in as Tight End on the Offense.





#44 on the end








Having twins playing on the same team can be a bit of a struggle with competition. Dylan is a lot more aggressive than Dallas and gets a lot more playing time. It doesn't seem to affect Dallas and he is very happy for his brother. But it can be very hard as a parent to make sure that you are congratulating both. It made me sad when at the end of the last game, one of their team mates came up to Dallas and said, "Good job Rodabough!" Well Dallas knew that he meant to do that to Dylan and said, "It's not me...I'm Dallas." Dallas takes it like a champ. It doesn't seem to bother him. But I know that if the tables were turned and Dallas was playing more than Dylan....Dylan would have a hard time with it. They have totally different personalities...so crazy..but they are the greatest boys!!


I have been a bad blogger lately...so here is catch up!

Tyler - Football 2009

TYLER - #32
This was Tyler's first year of playing tackle football. He realized it was a much bigger commitment than flag football where there were no practices. We were trying to decide what team to put him on. He is in 3rd grade but should be in 2nd. So did he want to play with his friends that would be twice his size or did he want to play with his age and not know anyone. Well he chose to play for the 3rd grade team. He struggled because a lot of the kids had already played for at least one other year. So getting used to the many, many practices was hard for him. But he has been having a lot of fun. He is usually going up against kids twice his size but that doesn't scare him. He has no fear.


Tyler - blocking


Tyler getting ready for a kick return


Tyler playing on the line - #32



Tyler lining up




in a huddle


Pumpkin carving and Cookie decorating

Last night the boys carved pumpkins and I made cookies for them to frost and decorate. Lots of fun!!


Tyler





Dallas



Dylan


Dylan, Tyler, Dallas with their pumpkins



Dylan carving with Dallas being silly.




Tyler getting ready to carve

Dallas done carving



Back to School 2009

Tyler, Dylan, & Dallas at school





Dylan, Tyler, Dallas -- getting ready to leave for 1st day of school



Dylan



Tyler

Dallas

7-Peaks

Took the boys to 7-Peaks before school started